Excerpt
from Chapter 23, "Kids and Happy Memories":
Time and time again people share with me vivid memories of parents
becoming very angry or even abusive with them as children, or perhaps storming off in disgust with them or leaving in a huff
after they did something wrong.
What I find remarkable
though, is the people telling me these stories hardly ever actually remember the details of what the parent was actually angry
about or what exactly they did to trigger the parent.
All
they remember is the parent’s actual behavior and how they were left feeling frightened, upset, worried, confused, sad,
crushed, guilty, sorry, angry, etc.
The point here
is that we as parents absolutely have great power in being able to lay down long-term memories in our children, both good
and bad....
.
Other
chapters include:
The
Bicycle of Life- The two main areas of life: work and relationships, and how to think
about them and maximize them.
We Fail with the Heart Not the Brain-
The "emotional noise" which holds us back in life and how to deal with it.
Marriage Part One- How to "behave" in a marriage, and why marriage is a "unique adult relationship".
Marriage Part Two- Why we subconsciously choose who we choose to marry and what it means for the relationship as
time goes on, including likely conflicts now or down the line.
Raising Victims-
Ways we behave with our children which can later translate into their being taken advantage of or abused as adults, as
well as who they choose to be with and what work or activities they choose to pursue in the world when they grow up.
Emotional Stumps- Describes the "unhappy" many who have not yet found their strides in life, what this
means, and what to do about it.
"Wow. Your book is right on Dr. F.... In fact, this should be required
reading for anyone who is or is thinking about ever becoming a parent. Actually, it should be required reading for anyone
who has ever been a kid! Ha Ha! You really piece together a lot of stuff here for us all. Well done and
thanks," -GL
"Hi Dr. Ferraioli,
[name edited out] here. Well,...my husband actually read the whole book cover to cover! Thank you so much.
The last 'self help' books I put in front of him, he only read the first fifty pages or so, then quit.
I think this is how more books should be written, 'short and sweet' just like the introduction says...." -MR
"About your book. Thanks for including the chapter For Men
as well as the ones on Marriage and The Boiling Pot and the Lid. In these little three page chapters,
you succeed at connecting with the reader and clarifying some key issues. I think this book should be required reading
for anyone who wants a better understanding of themselves, their work, and their relationships. An excellent little
book which I plan to keep nearby." -NJ
"This book is insightful and well written. It is respectful of the reader's time and intelligence.
Thank you." -KB
"Very much enjoyed your
book. Every chapter was just perfect. I even enjoyed and got a lot out of the ones involving children even though
I don't have any of my own. It is like one of the other testimonials said, each reader brings to the book his or her
own life's circumstances. I found that whenever I read a chapter that talked about issues to do with children
it still applied to MY OWN childhood and helped me understand myself better. I also feel that any skills we learn can
be applied to both children and our fellow adults, such as LVAC and restraint. Thanks for a great book." -TF
"For such a little book, this volume has had quite a big impact on both myself and my significant
other. I can see how we humans really do need a user's manual for life if we're going to live our best lives.
Can't wait until you write another!" -BN
